Trump Cake
Screengrab

Fuckface Von Clownstick Was Eating Chocolate Cake When He Ordered Syria Bombing

Welcome to The Daily Blunt, where we recap all that other stuff that happened in the super fast-forward news cycle in which we all exist. We use this space to roll up all of today’s news that we weren’t able to cover in full—but that’s potent enough for you to take a quick hit.

  • Our favorite guy, and Chinese president Xi Jinping just hanging out like good ol’ pals when Trump ordered 59 tomahawk missiles dropped on Syria. He told this to Fox Business in an interviewed that aired this morning. He said it was the “most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen.” He said a bunch of other really dumb things too that were worth noting. – New York Magazine
  • A new book offers some pretty interesting insight in to how the 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign operated internally. Lots of times there was petty bickering, and there’s a good story about how she snapped on a room full of people when she was exhausted. – The Hill
  • United Airlines is still trying to clean after their mess. They are compensating every person who was on the flight where a man was violently dragged off. –  The Hill
  • But also, speaking of United Airlines, a woman says a man sexually assaulted her, and after she complained the flight attendants just gave her drinks. – The Huffington Post
  • Trump’s wife Ivanka Melania settled her libel lawsuit agains U.K. Tabloid The Daily Mail for $2.9 million. The paper wrote a story alleging that she was an escort. – NPR 
  • America’s smartest resident dumb-ass Dr. Ben Carson got stuck in an elevator today. He was there because he’s on a “national listening tour” to better understand his job as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.  – Politico 
  • Secretary of State Rex Tillerson met with Russian leaders today including Trump’s maybe buddy Putin himself. They were there to discuss a number of things including the ongoing conflict involving Syria. Nothing good or terribly bad came from the meetings it seems. – The Washington Post
  • Violent protest broke out in Venezuela that left two people dead. Stability has gone from bad to worse over the past year and protesters stood off with police against the government and President Nicolás Maduro. They want him to resign and the country to hold new elections. – Vice News

We totally understand if after reading all of that you want to go on a little escapade because we’re right there with you.

But for now we’ll just have to settle with this.

 

 

Related Articles

Crime
Crime

Assassination of Russian Ambassador To Turkey Captured In Chilling Video

News
News

HBCU Talladega College Will Have Its Marching Band Perform at Trump’s Inauguration

News
News

Protests In Washington, D.C. Kick Off With a Bang

News
News

The Official Doomsday Clock Has Rocketed Forward With Dire Warning

News
News

Kyle Lowry Refuses To Soften His Words On Trump’s Muslim Ban

News
News

Banner Hung Off Manhattan Bridge To Protest Muslim Ban

Ad

Latest News

Rocaine Music

Listen To Rocaine’s Latest Single “In & Out”

Rocaine comes through with a heavy street banger
Nick catchdubs, fools gold Hey, You're Cool

Hey, You’re Cool! Nick Catchdubs of Fool’s Gold

"You don’t have to wait for a wizard to fuckin’ tap you with a wand and say you’re allowed.”
meek-mill-lawsuit News

Meek Mill Listens To Drake’s Diss Track “Back to Back” For “Motivation”

Glowing up
News

Bill Cosby is Reportedly Afraid Someone Might Spike His Drink

Now who would do something like that?
Fat Boys Music

Fat Boys Dropped ‘Fat Boys’ 33 Years Ago Today

"Listen to the fresh sound of the Disco 3"
jasmin sehra, painting, london, bollywood, fine art, rap Hey, You're Cool

Hey, You’re Cool! Jasmin Sehra

"I trust this process and the journey the most high has written for me."
Harambe News

Are You Pulling Your Dick Out For Harambe Today?

Please Don't, But Also RIP Harambe
Sofie-Boiler-Room-London Music

Sofie And The Art of the Mix

From Stones Throw to The Boiler Room
News

Meek Mill to YoungBoy Never Broke Again: If You Don’t Move, You’ll Die

The Philly rapper has seen this movie before
Music

Lil Yachty is Pissed That a Grown-Up Didn’t Edit His Lyrics

“I fucked up, I thought Squidward played the cello.”
NWA-daily-op Music

26 Years Ago Today, N.W.A Dropped ‘Efil4zaggin’

No one was spared.
ruth gruca, made la, vfiles Hey, You're Cool

Hey, You’re Cool! Ruth Gruca

The girl boss bringing Wiz Khalifa and Opening Ceremony together
Sports

With E-40 as Her Hypeman, Steph Curry’s Wife Freestyles at BottleRock Fest

Cavs in 4
MA-Thumbnail_Andre3000_nologo Music

Happy Birthday, André 3000!

"Made it through another year can't ask for nothing much more."
migos scotty 2 hotty Music

Migos Returns With Ode to WWE Legend Scotty 2 Hotty, “To Hotty”

Scotty 2 Hotty, choppers and shottys
alessandra mastronardi, hey youre cool, Italy, Master of None, Netflix Hey, You're Cool

Hey, You’re Cool! Alessandra Mastronardi

The 'Master of None' Italian actress considers an alternate ending.