“The Valleys” Proves the British Have Trashy Reality TV On Smash

It’s been proven time and time again by hit reality series after hit reality series — dysfunctional, delusional and damaged people make for compelling  American television. But while critics finger wag and SMH at Honey Boo Boo and Stevie J. the Brits are serving up trash TV that makes our stuff seem tame in comparison.

No matter what side of the reality TV “entertainment versus exploitation” debate you’re on  you’ve got to admit that MTV UK’s “The Valleys” is some next level shit. The show takes nine young people from the economically-depressed (and apparently just generally depressing) South Wales Valleys and moves them to a house in the big city of Cardiff where they seek fame, fortune and opportunity.

However, judging  by the first episode and season preview the cast finds hook ups, beat downs, and infamy — pretty standard fare for a “Jersey Shore” style show except in the UK you can curse, show T ‘n’ A, and basically broadcast people boning.

Check out these clips from the first episode and tell us what you think about what’s sure to be the UK’s next TV sensation.

Before you get to the flashed boobs, on-camera urination and seafood as photo shoot props, review our abbreviated glossary of terms you’ll need to know to understand the cast:

slag: a slut or loose woman

shag: to have sex

the piss: alcoholic beverages

twat: a jerk or undesirable person

Related Articles


UK Stoners Build Weed Hunting Drone


Spotify and Viacom Set to Bring Back MTV


2014 MTV Video Music Awards Show Roundup


Revenge Porn Now Illegal Under New UK Law


MTV to Kanye West: Do Whatever the Hell You Want on VMAs Stage For 4 Minutes


Batman Is Beating Some Creepy Clown Ass in Small UK Town


Latest News

cop-kicks-face News

Should We, Too, Get A 24-Hour Suspension For Kicking Cops In The Face?

Please do not curb-stomp police officers
drake dropping new song, "signs," tomorrow Style

Drake Reveals “Signs,” A New Song “Inspired” by Louis Vuitton

Is there a new Louis Vuitton Don?
wes jackson, brooklyn hip hop festival, brooklyn bodega Hey, You're Cool

Hey, You’re Cool! Wes Jackson of Brooklyn Bodega

The XXL Freshmen look like weirdos, but Jungle Brothers and Q-Tip were weirdos too
Balenciaga Expensive Shopping Bag Style

People Actually Bought This $1100 Leather Balenciaga Shopping Bag

More useless shit
kevin durant dave east studio News

Dave East and Kevin Durant Reunite in the Studio

Which ‘Watch the Throne’ beat will they attack this time?
Black Lives Matter News

Stanford University Does Study, Makes Cute Video, Concludes Cops Are Racist

You get a diploma for that?
khary the listening room Music

New Music From Khary, Marshtini and Oshi

The Listening Room (June 21, 2017)
transformers-the-last-knight Film

10 Easter Eggs To Look Out For In ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’

The movie may be a mess, but this stuff is fun
trey-songz-lyrics-court News

Footage of Trey Songz Saying “F____ the Police” Allowed as Evidence at Trial

Should a Snapchat compilation be admissible in court?
sp one, greg lamarche, graffiti, collage, drawing Art

The Bench: SP One

The writer and artist found joy in art again by looking to the old school
aldae-long-premiere Music Video

PREMIERE: Aldae Long Converses With His Demons in New “Underwater” Video

"Sin the antagonist, myself the protagonist"
slipknot-nickelback Music

Nickelback & Slipknot Are Feuding, But Only Smash Mouth Cares

Remember the ’90s?
ice-cube-portrait-basketball Sports

Ice Cube Speaks On How Big3 Will “Change The Game”

A.I., White Chocolate, and Mike Bibby tip off this Sunday in BK
neon-museum-main Art

Where The Neon Lights Of The Vegas Strip Go To Die

Viva Las Vegas!
danse, cartoon, rap, brooklyn, flatbush, bklyn stickup, violate, chi bheats Music Video

PREMIERE: You Knew Danse Would “Violate”

Whyling out 'South Park' style
prodigy-obit Features

R.I.P. To The HNIC

Albert "Prodigy" Johnson was a poetical prophet