Reality TV Bites: Consequence Keeps It Real, Son
Consequence slapped Joe Budden at the taping of the Love & Hip-Hop New York reunion show. It’s sad where rap has gone. I’m shedding tears deep down inside. And I couldn’t see it coming from eyes, so I had to make my blog post cry.
First of all, stop calling the dude Joe Buttons or Joe Buddens. My suggestion is that you should leave off the last “S” for savings. The man’s name is Joe Budden. He is a great rapper and a great writer who has been troubled in his real life and now all of that shit has been broadcasted for the world to see on Vh1. Full disclosure: I’ve produced some reality TV for that same network (and I’ve even met with Budden and then girlfriend Tahiry about putting together a show around them like four years ago). But I guess my stuff wasn’t really reality-reality in that I’d created a competition-based show (along with my ego trip co-d’s) wherein white rappers from around the country actually learned some things about hip hop and then had to put their knowledge to the test via writing and performing rhymes on the spot. The artists on “The White Rapper Show” didn’t have major record deals like both Consequence and Joe Budden have had. They were just hungry emcees fighting to make a name for themselves and earn a 100k pay day.
Boring, right? People are more excited by real life stereotypes being bumped outta brand new Beats headphones. And black tattoo parlors where everybody is fucking in the back room and the boss can’t leave town without one of his key staffers catching a gun charge (and damn, the boss done fell behind on his child support payments, but that’s OK, because he’s down Souf busting guns with new wifey’s pops).
We created/produced another show called Miss Rap Supreme. Shot it in Cali. The thinking was we’d give women the platform they deserved in hip-hop. Yeah, there was some silly shit on the show (ego trip is all about fun) but at the end of the day, in addition to potentially earning 100k, women had the opportunity to show and prove on the mic. For our finale, we had one of the greatest artists ever to spit hot bars for a judge, Missy Elliot. We also had Missy’s manager, Mona Scott, on as a judge, too. Mona was a strong woman in the game doing her thang. Plus, she’s Haitian, and I’m always down for my mother’s motherland. Today, Mona Scott is the creator/exec producer of the Love & Hip Hop franchise.
Where am I going with this? Well, clearly I’ve watched the show, because I’m talking about it now. It’s a train wreck, and I grew up riding the subways of New York in the 1980s, so I can handle anything. But these shows are just bad. Junkfood for the brain. Stereotypes on full blast. Rappers on full ass. Hip-hop music has become a joke, and every time you watch one of these shows there is a video vixen or two or three who gets really pissed about how their recording career ain’t poppin’. Well it ain’t poppin’ for a reason, boo: you ain’t no artist. You’re a pretty face who is lookin’ and acting real ugly on TV. Listen: I know Latinas are passionate—I married one—but are they ALL so willing to cut you behind not getting their record deal poppin’? Are they all quick to flip a table when you won’t spit a verse on a single that should probably never happen? Is this what Latino men have to deal with at home? ‘No rice n beans for you, papi! Jew kno why? Where my record deal at? No Mangu, no chocha, no nothing! Nigga!’
Is this how blacks and Latinos act in real life? Are they all trying to get record deals? Do their heads all roll like fucking bobbleheads on the dashboard of a gypsy cab?
Do all black people rap?
Oh, and the violence. The Violence. You would think that blacks and Latinos hate themselves. Why are they always screaming and threatening and HITTING one another? Is that because that’s how it really is out here … my nigga?! Rappers are masters when it comes to words, but some of these rappers on TV are acting more like slaves—individuals who have been conditioned to expect violence. People who have been bred to meet violence with violence. Oh, so Consequence has beef with Joe Buddens—oops, I mean Joe Budden—so he goes on VladTV.com and tells people that he considered putting his hands on Joe Budden. Oh, shit! Wait a minute! When the “Love & Hip Hop New York” reunion show happens, Consequence puts his hands on Joe Budden! And then he tweets about it. Don’t birds tweet? I guess Biggie was right: real niggas do real things.
Shit! But then Joe Budden says that Tahiry stepped up and put her hands on Consequence after Consequence caught him from the back. Crazy, right? Ma is from Uptown. She’s Dominican. She’ll defend her man ‘til the end. Damn, Cons—why’d you have to go and do that? What’s the next step? What would Hulk Hogan do? I mean, this rap shit is wrestling at this point anyways. A lot of you rappers are a bunch of George The Animal Steele-type cats these days.
Bite my turnbuckle.
Maybe none of this matters. Maybe I actually don’t care. If blacks and Latinos wanna act the fool on television, it ain’t me. I mean, they’re getting them big per-episode payouts and club appearance checks (who wouldn’t wanna pop a bottle with any of these folks?). That’s what matters. Money in the bank. I can’t wait to see Chief Keef’s television show. It’ll be a remake of the Chicago-situated classic, “Good Times,” only black kids will kill each other every episode over a bag of Skittles or a pick-up game argument. We’ll call the show “Bad Times at Ridgemont High.” Redman can play the cool gym teacher/basketball coach. ‘Lil Kim can be the dean.
Hey Consequence: if threatening a rapper in advance of a reality TV reunion show and then assaulting him on said reality TV reunion show (and then tweeting about it) is your thing, do you.
Shout out to Benzino. The voice of reason for the Love & Hip Hop franchise. Somebody’s gotta make sense.
White people have Honey Boo Boo to be pissed about, so what is this black bastard Jenkins bellyaching about? And the president is black. Somebody shut this black asshole up. It’s only friggen’ television, for crying out loud. I mean, ain’t he ever seen Mob Wives? I know a lot of connected guys are really pissed about that friggin’ show. I mean, come on, the Albanian broad on that show is a rapper all of a sudden?! Now THAT’S embarrassing to white people. Geez. Nigger.