Dark Horse Katy Perry Juicy J

Katy Perry Is An Evil Force Out to Destroy Rap

No doubt it’s a great look. Katy Perry calls you – or, well, it’s likely her manager who does it — but either way, she wants you, famous rapper, to be on her next single. You consider this for about a half a second and say yes faster than one turns their swag on. Congratulations, it’s pretty much guaranteed to become a number one record, just know that your verse will be absolutely terrible and that this look comes with a price.

See, for all of Ms. Perry’s talents (see GQ’s Feb. cover) and her tremendous consistency for rising to the top of the charts, she does not bring out the best in rappers. I came to this conclusion last night after watching Katy’s new video for “Dark Horse,” what is currently the number 1 song in the country. The song is two parts trance, one part pop, and a pretty big smash, the way almost anything Katy Perry and Dr. Luke do becomes. But the video, well that’s an LSD fever dream. It’s a relic unearthed from the Michel Jackson video vault, first crammed into a washing machine with glitter, opiates, and cat memes. I was a hair below sober at the time of viewing, but felt like I was involving myself in some sort of full blown Cleopatra meets Rita Repulsa meets Falco psychotic episode. It’s really, really weird and the fact that Juicy J is involved makes it weirder and adds to Katy’s strange track record when collaborating with rappers.

Remember, if you can, all the way back to 2010, when Perry was first introducing us to what would become her mammoth record Teenage Dream. The lead single for the record, “California Gurls,” was a pop confection, so cloyingly sweet that the video takes place in some Candy Land-esque fantasy world. Featured on the track is former Death Row rapper Snoop Dogg, who appears in the video as a cupcake-suited gamesman or something. The video was best remembered for Katy’s whipped cream shooting brassiere, but let’s not forget that the Dogfather himself was dragged into this Bazooka Joe affair, rapping lines like, “Bikinis, tankinis, martinis / No weenies, just the King and the Queenie.” On YouTube, the video has over 100 million views and the song stayed atop the Billboard Hot 100 for six consecutive weeks.

Nine months after “California Gurls” was first released, as the Teenage Dream locomotive continued to barrel forward, the listening public was offered “E.T.” It was the fourth single off the album and featured Kanye West. Whereas “California Gurls” was all cotton candy powder puff, this was intergalactic boning music. And the video was freaking out there. Katy Perry is an alien or is in love with an alien rummaging through some planetary garbage dump and Kanye West is floating around in some space station all Sandy Bullock “Gravity” style, spitting raps like “I’m tryna bathe my ape in your Milky Way” and “Tell me what’s next? Alien sex / I’mma disrobe you / Then I’mma probe you.” His verses match the song’s motif, but c’mon! This is Kanye, who killed “Run This Town,” and before you say, ‘well, that was a rap song,’ he’s killed pop verses, too – Estelle’s “American Boy,” his “Diamonds” remix – and did the whole space raps thing better two years before on “Walkin’ On the Moon.” The “E.T.” video has over 259 million YouTube views and spent five non-consecutive weeks atop the Billboard chart.

And so Juicy J is next in line, lending a verse to “Dark Horse,” getting his shine. It isn’t terrible, though the standard of scrutiny for Mr. J is lower than that of Mr. Dogg and West. It’s more the video here that makes Juice look all corny and shit. He comes out the tomb, all “Uh, she’s a beast /I call her Karma / She eat your heart out / Like Jeffrey Dahmer.” What?

A note to the next rapper in line for a Katy Perry feature: Understand that you’re likely to get dragged into some pretty suspect shit. It might be worth it though, for that Grammys performance or that sure fire Billboard top spot, but try your hardest to maintain your integrity. It’s won’t be easy and I’d bet you’re persuaded to do otherwise, to file away your rough edges and fit into pop’s perfect circle. Just know that there’s a price to pay in playing Katy Perry’s sidekick – one that probably goes against all of the rap ethos from here to Candy Land, Egypt, and outer space.

Related Articles

Music Video
Music Video

Snoop Dogg and Daz “We Miss You (Uncle June Bugg Tribute)”

Music Video
Music Video

Atmosphere “Kanye West”

Music Video
Music Video

Future “I Won” Ft. Kanye West

Music Video
Music Video

Snoop Smokes Trump Lookalike In New Video

Music Video
Music Video

Snoop Dogg Announces New Video, New Album

Music Video
Music Video

Vince Staples Tries to Stay Afloat in “Big Fish” Video

Ad

Latest News

Metro Boomin drops a new song with Drake and Offset Music

Metro Boomin Drops Surprise Drake, Offset Collab, “No Complaints”—Is Album Next?

The Atlanta producer's got everybody lookin'
Zola News

Viral Dancing Gorilla Sad Reminder Of What Harambe Could Have Been

Impressive moves but... damn
tupac filmmakers sued by former vibe writer Film

‘All Eyez On Me’ Filmmakers Sued for Using Fictional Characters in Tupac Biopic

Former ‘VIBE’ writer claims the movie steals his intellectual property
Call of Duty 4 Screencap Remastered Tech/Games

‘Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Remastered’ Standalone Release Coming Soon

COD fans who skipped the $80 'Infinite Warfare' bundle are psyched
memesmahnegguh, coco mango cherry Hey, You're Cool

Hey, You’re Cool! @memesMahNegguh

Adult Swim, holler at your boy!
Banksy News

Goldie Refers to Banksy as “Rob,” People Freak Out

You do realize how many Robs there are in the world, right?
Music

New Music From Vince Staples, dvsn, Heems and More

The Listening Room (June 23, 2017)
2017 Draft Class Sports

The Major Takeaways from the 2017 NBA Draft

Last night we watched men both younger and way more talented than us become way richer than us. Welp
Sizzla-DJ-Khaled News

The Untold Story Behind DJ Khaled and Sizzla’s “I’m So Grateful”

Khaled and Kalonji go way back
Eric B. & Rakim will reunite to celebrate 30th anniversary of Paid In Full. Music

Eric B. & Rakim Announce First Show Together in Over 20 Years

Finally let the rhythm hit 'em
essex-market-featured Art

‘Market Surplus’ Gives a Building on the L.E.S. One Last Jolt Before Demolition

Mural art show features Faust, Lamour Supreme, ELLE and more
Silicon Valley: The Soundtrack is available now. Music

Stream ‘Silicon Valley: The Soundtrack,’ Featuring Nas, Run the Jewels, Wu-Tang ...

A Mass Appeal and HBO collaboration, streaming now
Jay 305 talks about Suga Free's 'Street Gospel' album. Music

Jay 305 Preaches on Suga Free’s Classic ‘Street Gospel’

Chuuch!
Sebastian Gorka News

Trump’s Top Advisor: There’s Only Radical Muslims and Those Soon To Be Radical

Trump's top advisor doesn't confirm he hates Islam, but does tell us he doesn't like hip hop
vince-staples Music Video

Everything’s Up For Interpretation in Vince Staples’ Video for “Rain Come Down”

...except for his feeling about Sprite
Tyler the Creator suggests he may be dropping a project soon. Music

Is It About to Be Tyler SZN?

"7 DAYS BOY"