Banksy Arrested

Is Banksy Actually Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin?

I walked into the Mass Appeal office this morning, and before I could sit down, my managing editor told me it was funny that I walked in because he’d just sent me an email. Having been a few minutes late, I feared the worst. I took to my phone and computer to refresh my inbox as quickly as possible to catch that fade. But alas, I was wrong and instead there was media gold in my inbox…it would turn out to be fool’s gold, but we’ll get to that in a second.

The headline read: “Graffiti Artist Banksy Arrested In London; Identity Revealed.” Of course with a headline like that, there’s some hesitation to give an inkling of attention to the story, but on the other hand it’s simply stupid to pass up on breaking news like that. One of the most elusive and talked about artists of our time has been apprehended by Johnny Law the “Bobbies.” It had the potential to be the biggest story of the year, until I got to digging.


According to reports by “America’s #1 Independent News Source” (, 35-year-old Paul Horner had been apprehended following an elaborate sting operation conducted by a London Anti-Graffiti Task Force led by Police Chief Lyndon Edwards:

“We had a 24-hour Anti-Graffiti Task Force monitoring different groups where Banksy was known to frequent. We received word that around 2am a group of individuals left a flat speculated to be one of Banky’s art studios. This group was followed by agents and once vandalism had occurred, we then arrested the group, 5 men total. These individuals all had ID on them except for one, and that is the one we believed to be Banksy,” Edwards said. “We then raided the studio where this group was last seen leaving from. Inside we found thousands of dollars of counterfeit money along with future projects of vandalism. We also found a passport and ID of a Paul Horner who matched the description of the man that we are currently holding.” Edwards continued, “Horner is currently being held without bail on charges of vandalism, conspiracy, racketeering and counterfeiting. We are also holding the other four individuals whose names we are not releasing at this time.” 

Besides a series of linked sources that merely went to major news network home pages—with no stories or interviews found—or Wikipedia pages, there was no true hard evidence to make the case that Banksy had actually been arrested. Things began to feel a bit fishy, we didn’t know how fishy until we got to the part explaining the subject of Banksy’s new piece.

Let’s Begin —>

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