Dead Lizard
Reddit

Fuck This Lizard-Ass Snitch

Have you ever heard of the phrase “copaganda?”

Well, according to the highly reputable source, Urban Dictionary, it’s best defined as either “images of police officers rescuing kittens from trees and fixing children’s bicycles,” or, “articles written about ‘hero’ cops who save lives but ignore all of the tazer deaths and corruption in the unit.”

And for some God-awful reason, there’s a bit of copaganda news circulating around the Internet from the hell-hole great state of Arizona I’d like to discuss.

It’s about a lizard named Iroh, or, Officer Iroh to be more precise. This scum has been deputized. Someone thought it was a wise idea to spend quality time on earth taking photos of this lizard receiving a badge and being sworn in, then then decided it would be a great idea to post this obtuse event to Facebook, another hell-hole great place.

Before you know it, Officer Iroh will be killing members of the community and eager to deport immigrants just like the vast majority of the other Arizona law enforcement officials. (Arizona has a very high rate of officer involved shootings.)

Time for an update on Iroh's Adventures. Iroh got sworn in today by Chief Nannenga, Iroh is official! #IrohAdventures

Nai-post ni Avondale AZ Police Department noong Huwebes, Abril 13, 2017

Want to know more Iroh? We bet!

Iroh started off as a joke in some bumble-fuck town’s local police department last year on April Fool’s Day. The police announced they were beginning to train Iroh to “sniff out drugs.” The Avondale Police Department eventually came clean about the “joke.” Because, well, you know, lizards can’t smell. Well they can, but they smell with their tongues. It’s why they always are sticking it out and doing weird lizard things and what not.

So the police came clean with their joke (haha), but because this is 2017 they decided to keep the lizard around. Why would a police department keep a lizard around? Who really knows. The lizard would probably be happier in the desert doing weird lizard things. But, no.

So in the process of keeping this lizard around, the police department would do “cute” things with the lizard. They even had used “#Irohsadventures” to ensure maximum virility. For example, they posted the following photo of Iroh on a cop’s shoulder.

Wondering how the Arizona public responded to the photo of Iroh on this cop’s shoulder?

Same.

What are you talking about, Melena? How in the world do you know if that lizard, or dragon, or cretin, is happy. You’re not an expert on lizards, Melena. According to your Facebook, you’re in the makeup industry. I’m in the shit-that-makes-sense industry and I can confirm that you don’t know if that lizard is happy.

Great question, Nathan Beer. Really. I applaud your care and concern for this vermin. If I was to ever live in Avondale, Arizona, before I killed myself I’d first do everything in my power to make sure that Iroh had a helmet for his safety.

There are other posts, too, that feature Officer Iroh. He can be seen helping with speed enforcement. There’s another photo of Iroh just casually sitting on a motorcycle. Lizards are not supposed to sit on motorcycles. Lizards are supposed to do lizard things, like roam around the desert being irrelevant.

The worst part of the story is how many stories have come out about this lizard. Here’s what comes up when you search “Officer Iroh” on google:

So you know what? Fuck this lizard-ass snitch that’s actually a “bearded dragon.” If I ever see that lizard I’m going to stomp his damn face in and I implore you to do the same.

Regardless, happy 4/20 everyone!

Share this post

Related Articles

News
News

Arizona to Death Row Inmates: Bring Your Own Drugs If You Want to Die Right

Ad

Latest News

john witherspoon says ice cube's confirmed a new 'friday' Film

It Looks Like a Fourth ‘Friday’ Movie With Ice Cube…

John Witherspoon says he just got word from Cube that it’s time to go
Comments News

We Don’t Disagree–Iggy Azalea Can’t Rap (Or Twerk)

Never read the comments
frank ocean drops new song, "lens v2," featuring travis scott Music

Frank Ocean Teams With Travis Scott For New Song, “Lens…

He also premiered a solo version of the track on the 4th episode of Blonded Radio
kendrick shares mom's epic response to 'damn.' News

Kendrick Lamar Shares His Mom’s Epic Response to ‘DAMN.’

Your daddy said you look stressed out… I said n***a that’s the point”
obama back univ chicago trump News

Obama Back

The former POTUS will speak publicly for the first time since leaving office next week.
dram juicy j asap rocky gilligan News

D.R.A.M. Taps Juicy J, A$AP Rocky for New Single, “Gilligan”

The potent trio is gone off the shits. Again, apparently.
Young Thug's music video for "All The Time" Music

Watch and Listen to Young Thug’s New Single “All The…

So Tampax, when are you going to cut that check?
tyga fucked up News

Tyga Fucked Up

Did TMZ catch the rapper creepin'?
Film

‘True Conviction’ Doc Shows A New Kind Of Freedom Fighters

A personal fight against wrongful convictions
News

Kendrick Lamar Breaks His No Interview Policy

"Are you the greatest rapper alive?"
Young Thug is set to release a new project tonight called, All The Time. It's unclear what it is though. Music

Some New Young Thug Might Drop Tonight

Jeffery on deck. Hashtag that.
kendrick lamar no new music News

Kendrick Lamar Breaks Everyone’s Heart to Cap Off the Week

Of potential new music, Kendrick says, “None is coming."
bones-cover-art Music

New Music From: The JuJu, Bones, Dua Lipa & More

The Listening Room (April 21, 2017)
Government shutdown News

If Trump Doesn’t Get His Wall, We Might Get a…

Today's edition of The Daily Blunt
Quelle Chris Buddies Music

Kendrick, Paramore, Quelle Chris and the Week’s Best Music Videos

Don't believe us, just watch!
kendrick lamar lebron james damn. News

Forget the Pacers, LeBron James Wants to Talk Kendrick Lamar

After engineering an absurd playoff comeback, Bron gave a brief Kung Fu Kenny speech to reporters.