Drunk Threesome La Guardia

Drunken Threesome’s Love Boat Rams Into Airport Pier

After a 28-foot boat rammed into the end of La Guardia Airport’s Runway 22 last Sunday, Port Authority officials were relieved to learn that this was no terrorist attack, but merely a love boat left unmanned while its passengers took part in a drunken threesome. The boat’s owner, 51-year-old Craig Gallo, and his buddy James Benenato picked up Mary Ann Belson at a tiki party and decided to move their party to Gallo’s boat. After a few more Budweisers, Gallo abandoned the helm to get it on with both of his 60-year-old passengers, leaving the boat adrift until its fateful collision with the end of the runway.

Gallo and Belson both suffered minor facial injuries from the crash, and the Queens Criminal Court revoked Gallo’s boating and motor vehicle licenses and mandated he undergo a drug and alcohol abuse assessment. But perhaps Gallo and his crew may have done the city a service by pointing out a flaw in maritime airport security at NYC’s airports. A Port Authority spokesman told the New York Post that if the drunken partiers had instead been “terrorists with bad intentions, they could have easily succeeded.’’ The official also gave some good advice to yacht rockers everywhere: “If you’re feeling amorous aboard a boat, I suggest you drop your anchor before you drop your pants.’’

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