World War III
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The Trump Administration Picks A New Country to Beef With

Welcome to The Daily Blunt, where we recap all that other stuff that happened in the super fast-forward news cycle in which we all exist. We use this space to roll up all of today’s news that we weren’t able to cover in full—but that’s potent enough for you to take a quick hit.

  • U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, the former Exxon Mobile executive who managed to slither his way into international diplomacy, had harsh words for Iran. He told reporters at a press conference in D.C., “An unchecked Iran has the potential to travel the same path as North Korea and to take the world along with it.” He reportedly used some of the same lingo that other Trump officials have been using when referencing the ongoing tensions with North Korea. Officials are worried that Iran is trying to increase their nuclear capabilities despite saying numerous times they are not. Fuck it, lets start a war with Denmark, too! –Vice News
  • Within the next few days, new legislation is expected that will try again try to repeal Obamacare. The Trump regime wants a vote next week, which makes sense (to these maniacs) because he’s coming up on the 100 day mark of his presidency and so far the only thing he’s really accomplished is improving his golf game. One Republican lawmaker who plans to vote against the bill said, “The amendment doesn’t address the things that I had concerns about—the things I think are detrimental to the people I represent,” –Politico
  • Unemployed Bill O’Reilly is set to walk away from Fox News with  $25 million. He was fired because of ongoing sexual harassment allegations. –CNN
  • Truly terrible United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions today had some dumb stuff to say about the judge who blocked Trump’s anti-Muslim travel ban. He told a radio show host, “I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and constitutional power.” Sessions, an attorney and a person in charge of the Justice Department, should know that the judge in question had every right to do what he did. A former DoJ spokesperson under the Obama administration called the comment, “An extraordinary attack on a federal judge’s right to do his job by a sitting AG.” It’s almost worth asking if Jeff knows that Hawaii is a state. –CNN
  • Today Trump called North Korea a “menace.” –The Hill
  • Apparently among the Trump Cabinet there’s a bible study group that meets once a week . It’s doubtful Trump himself attends. –Fusion
  • LOL! Trump is claiming that his regime has accomplished more in its first 90 days than any other president! Interestingly enough, a new poll came out today that shows he has the lowest approval ratings of any president since WWII. –Washington Post
  • Today protesters in Venezuela took over a General Motors plant. Already escalating tensions there have been getting worse by the day. This, America, is how you protest. –New York Times

Today is 4/20, did you know that? We did. It’s arguably one of the most important days of the year. We mad this insane playlist that features 420 weed-related, rap songs. Peep it. 

Each and every day the world is one step closer to maybe exploding, but today let’s not focus on that, especially since you’re probably high AF right now. And because you’re high right now, or at least about to be, watch this video called “watch while you’re high.” Do we know what it’s about? Nope. Does it matter? Not at all. It looks cool though!

 

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