BroApp Review

Tired of Texting Your Girlfriend? There’s an App for That, Bro

There are variety of seemingly pointless, commonplace conversations that occur in every relationship.

“How does this [insert article of clothing] make my [insert body part] look?”

“How was your day?” aka “I’m only asking so I can talk about my day.”

This isn’t a new phenomenon, and the proliferation of cell phone usage has increased these pointless interactions exponentially.

Person A: “Hi”

Person B: “Hey”

Person A: “Whatcha doing?”

Person B: “Nothing. You?”

Person A: “Just thought about you and wanted to see what you were up to.”

*Points finger-gun to head*

We’ve all been there. But all that shit is coming to an end — at least for the bros — thanks to BroApp.

Founded by some bros from the Land Down Under (that’s Australia in case you’re not up on your Men at Work references), BroApp aims to take the “WTF are we even talking about right now?!” out of relationships, at least when it comes to text messaging.

The app’s description alone has left texting-averse bros everywhere giggling with joy:

BroApp is your clever relationship wingman. It automatically messages your girlfriend sweet things so you can spend more time with the bros. Select your girlfriend’s number, add some sweet messages, and set the time of day when you want those messages sent. BroApp takes care of the rest.

And if that doesn’t cause bros to start jumping up and down for joy, taking shots of Jäger and spritzing themselves with Acqua di Gio, the app’s security features definitely will:

* Girlfriend Wifi Detector: BroApp won’t send messages when you are at your girlfriend’s place.
* Recent Contact Detector: BroApp won’t send messages if you have recently communicated with your girlfriend.
* Girlfriend Intrusion Detector: BroApp will prevent inquisitive girlfriends from uncovering the BroApp secret.

How does it “prevent inquisitive girlfriends” from discovering their boyfriend’s new secret weapon? Get this: It identifies when they’re attempting to open the app and sends a list of gifts the boyfriend was “planning to buy.”

I’m going to assume that all the true bros have stopped reading at this point and are currently attempting to download the app, which is currently only available for Android users. Luckily/unluckily a new version of the app is in development for iBrone users.

Here’s some advice, though: If your boyfriend/girlfriend has a problem with how little you text – BREAK UP WITH THEM! You’ll be happier in the end, and that’s what matters most.

So far the app has been met with mixed reviews; some call it “amazing” but denounce its sexist connotation, others just want the ability to text multiple girlfriends. Play on, player!


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