Donguin Beastin

Beastin’: Meet The Donguin

Donguin Beastin

The Donguin, or “el Donguino,” is a mythical beast that roams the far flung lands of the internets. He came to me while browsing funny/cute photos for an embarrassingly long time—a few months ago—and properly lodged himself in my consciousness. Our relationship grew over time, and eventually we consummated it properly with a tattoo. I got one, he didn’t.

What is the most beast-like quality of your pet?

Probably his flippers. They don’t allow him to fly, but they can put a fool in his place right quick.

What or who is your pet not feeling?

Fools insisting on wearing flip flops on the streets of New York. WTF. That ish is disgusting.

What does your pet look for in a mate?

The Donguin looks for someone to share his life. You know, the good and the bad. He is all about establishing an open channel of communication and utilizing it to create a strong bond with his partner toward warming each other with earnest emotion.

No Beastie, but what human would your pet want to make love to and why?

The pale red headed wildling girl who gives John Snow a boner in Game of Thrones.

What activities does your pet dig most?

Complaining. And Brooding.

What television programs or bands/rappers does your pet like?

Cold Cave. Oh, and Better Off Ted.

What makes your dog your best friend or perfect companion?

Well, you could say that we are attached at the leg. Also, how can you look at that face and not smile?

Tell us about the most memorable walk with your dog.

I recall Central Park in fall. You tore your dress, what a mess, I confess. That’s not all.

Some dogs look like their owners, but who do you think your dog really looks like?

We have a stunning resemblance to each other. If I had to choose someone else, it’d probably be Danny DeVito in that Batman movie that he did.

Favorite movie starring a pet?

An American Tail: Fievel Goes West.

What made you decide you wanted a pet?

I wasn’t in the market when we met, but when you know, you know. You know?

How many dates have you scored off the strength of your little wing man?

None yet.

What type is your pet: small with big personality or big with a little personality?

He is a big personality, but not showy. He maintains a nice even keel on the always.

What would be your pet’s first tweet?

I’m here. #chillbro

Who has more fun, you or your pet?

We both grumpin. It’s cool though.

Donguin Tat

Ad

Latest News

jay-z lebron james king new york News

JAY-Z Gets LeBron Back for That Whole “King of New York” Thing

"I'm the king of Cleveland now!"
marshawn-lynch News

Trump: Marshawn Lynch Should Be Suspended for National Anthem Protest in Mexico

Oh shut up
Waka Flocka Flame and Pete Rock Music

Pete Rock And Waka Flocka Flame Agree — Hip Hop Could Be Better

Waka loves the kids, Pete Rock loves the culture...and somehow that equals beef.
ol-dirty-bastard Features

The Best 36 Ol’ Dirty Bastard Solo Cuts, Ranked.

There is no father
Ruste Juxx Music

PREMIERE: Ruste Juxx & The Last Composer ft. Flashius Clayton “Never Ran Never W...

"Boom, bang, bang, bang!"
the rare n.e.r.d adidas hu nmd's which sell for thousands of dollars on the resale market Style

Craigslist Sneaker Reseller Robbed at Gunpoint of $6,000 N*E*R*D Adidas

Congratulations, you played yourself
doe boy Video

Open Space: Doe Boy

"All my fans like me for that gangsta shit and that's what I'm back on."
russell simmons News

Russell Simmons Denies Sexually Assaulting Model Keri Claussen Khalighi

The Def Jam co-founder says everything was consensual
Keak the Sneak Music Video

PREMIERE: Keak Da Sneak ft. Ike Dola “Zippin” Video

Keak straight whippin'
jaden-smith-lr Reviews

Jaden Smith Gets Serious About Rap On ‘SYRE’

Will Smith’s son drops New Age mumbo jumbo for real talk
method man Features

The Best 36 Method Man Solo Cuts, Ranked

Gunnin', hummin', comin' at ya!
drake News

Beef No More: Drake Shouts Out “Free Meek Mill” During Concert

Is it the start of their reconciliation?
charles-manson News

Charles Manson, Notorious Cult Leader, Is Dead

The strange saga of America's most famous killer comes to an end
xavier wulf Music

Xavier Wulf’s “Check It Out” Is Hard And As Memphis As It Gets

Tear da club up
Jean Rodriguez Hey, You're Cool

Hey, You’re Cool! Singer-Songwriter Jean Rodríguez

“So I’m telling this perfect vocalist [Beyoncé] to do something over and over—we had to make sure the accent was perfect”
justice league Features

‘Justice League’: Film vs. Comic

Going in-depth on the easter eggs and comic continuity