Ray-J-I-Hit-it-First

5 Dudes That Should Seriously “Hit Ray J First”

Usually I’d be the first to advocate the Mahatma Gandhi approach to tired Hip-Hop beef, but damn son, some dudes just need to be seriously checked–right across the face! Take this slimy, salamander-ass, snake-in-the-grass dude Ray J., aka Brandy’s brother. Not only has this guy successfully managed to beef with guys twice his size (Reggie Bush, Fabolous) and miraculously not gotten beat the f*ck down for it. He’s now gone as far as to disrespect another man’s still-pregnant baby moms.

The jerk just released an actual video to that corny “I Hit It First” song. An over-the-top slander record directed at power-couple Kanye West and ex-girlfriend Kim Kardashian, where he croons in early 2000’s-worthy R&B (Rhythm and BS) about how “I had her head going north and her ass going south but now baby chose to go West.” And now there’s a matching over-the-top video that, judging from the quality, probably cost way too much money to film.

What the hell Salamander Ray, that money could’ve been used to feed and mentor so many underprivileged young homies from Cali that have more “hood” in their pinky than you do in your entire body! Because, obviously, c-list media attention and a reality show about girls degrading themselves for your corny hand isn’t enough comedy for us. So screw it, we’ve compiled a list of 5 dudes that should seriously consider hitting YOU first!

Reggie-Bush-6

5. Reggie Bush. Money should’ve tackled you into a coma with no questions asked–straight up pumped the brakes on that 2008 case of motor-mouth you had.

Dude #4 –>

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