If you’re anything like me, you probably like pizza a lot. I mean, what’s not to love? Bread, tomato sauce, cheese, the top three ingredients on the food pyramid, rolled into one oily, delectable slice – don’t even get me started on the basil.
But do you like pizza enough to fuck it?
It wouldn’t be the first time someone made love to their dinner or dessert. Jim Levenstein from “American Pie” did it. And now it seems life is imitating art – if you can call “American Pie” art. The man behind the Twitter handle @ITK_AGENT_VIGO apparently ordered some Domino’s pizza on Monday, February 24th. But it seems he was hungry for something more . . . unorthodox and his strong love of pizza unfortunately led him to tweet this. “HELLO I’VE JUST MADE LOVE TO ONE OF YOUR PIZZAS AND BURNT MY PENIS SEVERELY. PLEASE ADVISE ON YOUR TERMS FOR A REFUND. THANKS.”
Luckily, Dominos UK has a sense of humor and responded with, “We raised them better than that!” But apparently, the man continued to hassle Dominos about his burns.
What is it with sex and fast food lately? Don’t get me wrong I love pizza. I was a pizza for halloween. But would I attempt to make love to it? Probably not.
It could have something to do with magazines suggesting you spice up your sex life with a little sugar – literally. But bringing some sweet treats into the bedroom and going solo on a pizza box in the kitchen are very different situations.
Hey, at least this one happened in the UK. For once the Brits can’t look at us with disgust and say, “what’s wrong with America?” Even if it was the most self-deprecating of Twitter trolls, Domino’s handled it with great customer service.
So if you’re thinking of fucking a pizza anytime soon, at least you know that Dominos will be there for you, with a Cheesy Bread foreplay.