Stop Overcomplicating Breakfast

Breakfast sandwiches are out of control right now. Every fast food company in America seems to be hopping on the bandwagon with this one.

Dunkin Donuts, we know that you mean well, but what in the world made you think that the same people who order Eggs Benedict at breakfast would order your eggs benedict sandwich?

Hey, it is the most important meal of the day. So why not ruin it with this disgusting sandwich? This looks pretty vile. We all know that it would be incredible if it were possible to capture the essence of an Eggs Benedict in a fast food situation. But unfortunately, that’s just not the case, and it doesn’t seem like it ever will be. Processed hollandaise? I know that the Egg McMuffin was emulated after Eggs Benedict, but at least they decided against the “runny” sauce and made it more appetizing. “Our employees are used to putting cream cheese on bagels very quickly, so this is no different,” said executive chef Stan Frankenthaler. Um, it’s a little different dude. Cream cheese has had the time to be a perfected processed spread. You’re broaching entirely new breakfast waters here.

Dunkin Donuts Eggs Benedict

If you’re not into the Dunkin’ Donuts breakfast, luckily, you don’t have to fret. Your fast food breakfast options are now endless. Breakfast sandwiches are blowing UP right now. On March 27th, Taco Bell will introduce their new breakfast menu including a “waffle taco sandwich,” breakfast burritos, Cinnabon donut holes, a crunch wrap, and more. “Fans already like to come to Taco Bell for lunch and dinner, and they share with us their love of late night. Now they’re not just asking, but telling us they want Taco Bell Breakfast,” said Taco Bell President, Brian Niccol in the official press release. The Tex-Mex fast food chain is stepping up their game, but competitors aren’t just going to let them win.

Taco Waffle

Perhaps this craze stemmed in January, when Arby’s announced it’s Smokehouse Brisket. It consists of hickory smoked brisket with smoked Gouda, barbecue sauce and crispy onions. The breakfast sandwich lifted their sales more than 12%. “Brisket was the winner in terms of the most flavorful and pronounced starting layer of smoke. Also, consumers knew of it,” said Arby’s corporate executive chef Neville Craw.

Even Starbucks is taking precautionary measures to ensure that they don’t fall behind in their breakfast sales. It seems like this is not just a fast food war, but instead a breakfast war in general. As of January 31st, Burger King was still testing their Chicken and Waffles breakfast sandwich concept. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out as well as they had imagined, but I won’t be surprised if they come out with something to rival the other sandwiches very soon.

After word of all of these new breakfast items, OG McDonalds decided to tease everyone with an almost announcement that they might be extending breakfast to all day. So there you have it. You can either eat Dunkin’ Donuts, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Burger King, Arby’s, or Starbucks for breakfast. OR, you can be healthy and make your OWN breakfast! But really, would you wanna do that? Who even has the time? I wish that these companies realized that just because Dunkin’ or Taco Bell is doing this with breakfast sandwiches doesn’t mean you have to. Keep your beautifully simple sandwiches, people! Bacon, Egg, Cheese. Less is more! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Lindsey used to get an Egg McMuffin sandwich every day and that is not a lie. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram here.

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