Let’s face facts: in the world of hip-hop, how much we eat isn’t on the forefront of what is being discussed when the next blunt is being rolled. Guys like Rick Ross proudly sport man-breasts in video shoots—the kind of breasts that trans-gendered individuals pay big bucks to get. Look, I’m not interested in cutting down Mr. Ross or anyone else in rap. I want to uplift the hip-hop race and spread words of encouragement. How much you and me and she eats has a profound effect on the lives of ALL OF US. If you don’t take care of yourself, you might wind up in the hospital. And if all you eat is the fare on the Dollar Menu, it’s probably because you’re poor. And if you’re poor, you probably can’t afford health insurance (which is like, most of America), and if you can’t afford health insurance, we all wind up paying for your trip to tubes-up-your-ass land. Plus, you know, the medicines are all way over priced because they’ve gotta supposedly pay for all of the research that went into creating those tiny little bite-sized miracles.
Hip-hop: finding a way to make health more of a priority is in order, and we’ve got to look at the way we consume food and the consequences of said consumption. We’ve gotta step up and take some responsibility here. I’m not telling you to lay off the Dollar Menu. I’m just saying that you might wanna not hit up the Dollar Menu every day, twice a day. Sorry, Ronald. Not tryna knock your hustle or anything, but hip hop has been poppin’ and lockin’ in your commercials for far too long and now our bellies are locked into a senseless war that is based on fat, not phat.
Enter 80 Bites, an app that encourages you to do just that: take eighty bites of food a day. The philosophy here is that 80 Bites is all you need to live a healthy life. It’s a radical concept, and if it’s too radical for you, the bigger message is: STOP EATING SO MUCH, YOU GREEDY BASTARD. Ok, ok, “greedy bastard” might be a bit harsh. Think about those around you—your loved ones and the tax payers. Think about yourself, too. Your quality of life. There’s so much to live for. You deserve a break today.
And P.S.: if you’re on Rick Ross’ team, don’t just nod your head in an effort to eat off of his plate and stay in good grace. Encourage that man to get in shape. Because if he doesn’t, he might not be around to feed you much longer. Rap has lost too many greats on account of being out shape. Buffy from the Fat Boys R.I.P. Big Pun R.I.P.
Head over to the 80 bites website for more info.