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More Extreme Kanye Declarations

More Extreme Kanye Declarations

Kanye Declaration

What’s the use of a half-assed opinion? If you’re going to make a statement, make it strong, make it bold, and make it extreme. That’s what Kanye West did last week when he declared that the second verse of his song “New Slaves” (“I throw these Maybach keys”) is the greatest of all time in the history of rap. Whoa. You may disagree with the pronouncement, Q-Tip certainly did, but it’s hardly a surprise that Ye would go out on such a limb; please recall Swift, Taylor and Relief, Katrina.

In a society of political correctness and tempering opinion, it’s kind of refreshing to see Kanye be so blunt and confident. So we started thinking, what other extreme declarations would we like to see Yeezy make? Beyond that he is a god, of course.

North’s first words will be the best line spoken in the history of babies. And WORDS!

The paparazzi are demons sent from hell to wreak havoc on innocent geniuses, I SWEAR!

Wearing a kilt is the height of self-expression and individualism. THE HEIGHT!

Leather is the best textile that God has ever gifted to man. That God gifted to me. That I gifted to me… EVER!

Derrick Rose had the greatest ACL tear of the last decade! Didn’t you see that!

There is no better woodland animal to brand yourself with than a bear. NOT ONE!

Coconut water is the best water of all time, meaning… of all time in the history of hydration!

No show kills of characters like Game of Thones. NOT ONE! Imagine a Red Yeezy’s Wedding though…

The entrance to rap Narnia is in Rick Rubin’s beard. DOUBT ME!

Space Mountain was the greatest roller coaster of all time until Harry Potter World opened! Let’s be real.

Hulu has the least annoying pre-video advertisement in recent memory!

North is the only direction that matters in the history of all navigation. Fuck South. That’s down.  We only send it up! UP I SAY!

Nothing satisfies Kim’s cravings like a cronut…in the history of ridiculous baked goods. Nothing! And I’m an expert on breakfast treats!

Mass Appeal is the greatest thing to ever be printed on paper, papyrus, parchment. IT. DOESN’T. MATTER.