If you thought Kim, North, and Kanye couldn’t get any more lavish— think again.
The Glossy Page Empress, aka Darth US Weekly, aka Miss Kardasian(-West, if you’re nasty) is slated to rake in a cool $85 million from her successful Kim Kardashian: Hollywood mobile game. Wild, right?
Here’s a synopsis of the game and what you can expect WHEN you download it,
Join Kim Kardashian on a red carpet adventure in Kim Kardashian: Hollywood! Create your own aspiring celebrity and rise to fame and fortune! Create your own star and customize your look with hundreds of style options, including Kim Kardashian’s personal picks!
Star in a huge interactive adventure as you encounter other celebs, dedicated fans, persistent paparazzi… and even hang out with Kim herself! Rule the Red Carpet as an A-list movie actor, cover model, fashion designer and more – what you do is up to you! Take over L.A. in a virtual world complete with exclusive clubs, upscale boutiques, and luxury homes! Travel to New York City and Miami! Date and dump celebs at the best parties and hottest clubs! Flirt and become the next huge celebrity power-couple!
Hey man, America is the land of the come up, where you pull yourself up by your bootstraps… or pull yourself up using the bodies of your coital connections as
you scrape for air in the frivolous world of celebrity ascend the ranks of the celebrity ladder.
A Bloomberg report explains the game’s players are pretty much coerced into spending money on in-game purchases for just about anything you can think of. Y’know, to make your way to the plateau that is Kim’s Realm of existence. No word on if you’ll have to put up with any scandals involving receiving the gens of a throwback R&B starlet’s little brother to ignite your career; we haven’t played the game yet.
Kim Kardashian has outwitted logic and universal law, once again, by using herself to sell herself to others who want to be her. And to make more money, so that she can spend said money to make herself more desirable to you… or is it her… we don’t fucking know. This is weird. Celebrities are weird. They’ll sell you their lifestyle, you buy it, then you regurgitate it, they use their success to continue to sell you more of what you already bought. It’s genius and the perfect business plan, executed by the world’s perfect lady… according to some guy.