A Girl’s Guide To Super Bowl XLVIII
Blur the lines at this year's Super Bowl party by knowing more than the guys.
You’ve been hearing about it nonstop, from male co-workers, relatives, and your significant other. Your man has been counting down the days for months, and well, the Super Bowl is here. It’s an inescapable behemoth of an event, and rather than cower in the corner, side eyeing the screaming men, we’re here to help you impress them. Don’t stand on the sideline gals, get in the game! You can have fun, too, and we’re here to show you how. With the help of TheSportsGirl Gina Miller, we’ve outlined a fool-proof way to not only have fun at the Super Bowl party, but hold your own with football freaks. “It’s the NFL’s best offense, in the Broncos, taking on the league’s best defense, in the Seahawks”, says Miller. “It’s a great matchup with the weather potentially affecting the elements.” So grab a seat on the couch close to the guac and get ready to be the MVP of your party.
First, it’s important to know who’s playing and what’s going on. Miller suggests spending 30 minutes online researching and reading previews. “Familiarize yourself with the names: Peyton Manning, Russell Wilson, Richard Sherman, Pete Carroll, John Fox, etc. Arm yourself with a basic knowledge of the stories surrounding the game.”
Come prepared with three facts. Instead of saying “Is Peyton Manning related to Eli Manning?” You could say, “A second Super Bowl win for Peyton Manning would mean a lot for his legacy.” Saying this would not only imply that you know who Peyton Manning is, but that you know he is on the Denver Broncos, AND that you know he has won in the past. Football is a game of titans and greats, and in this matchup, Peyton stands tallest of all.
Instead of saying “Richard Sherman seems crazy,” say “Did you guys see Richard Sherman start beef with Michael Crabtree a couple weeks ago? Sherman called Crabtree a sorry receiver. He has a bit of a temper, but his play backs it up.” This will prove to people that not only do you know the name of the best player on the Seahawks defense, but you also have a great understanding of what goes on in pop culture. Sherman created huge buzz with his post-game interview two weeks ago, and if you weren’t paying attention then, no worries, everyone is laser focused on the screen, that is, until you drop that knowledge.
Rather than saying “Who’s that hot guy wearing number 87?” say “Oh look, Eric Decker! Did you know his wife Jessie James is expecting? That’ll be one gorgeous baby.” Money says there’s someone in your viewing party rooting for the Broncos who has no clue who Decker is married to. (She’s a country star, fyi.)
Wear a shirt for your team NOT for the teams that are playing, unless your team is playing, of course. Show your fellow party goers that your roots run deep. Who cares that the Steelers, Patriots, Giants, or Jets didn’t make it all the way this year, you’re no fair-weather fan, your allegiance can’t be bought. This isn’t something something you bought yesterday, you got it the day before and it means a lot to you. And if anyone questions your fandom, say your dad and brother are huge fans and it’s a family thing, so are they taking shots at your family?
Snack on Skittles, not chocolate. Seahawks running-back Marshawn Lynch knows a thing or two about the candy. Back when he was 12, mom Delisa used to carry Skittles in her purse and said they were his “energy pellets” for the game. His love of Skittles is now so widely known that fans bring their own Skittles to the game, and hand them to Marshawn as he passes by.
Instead of complaining that you don’t know what is going on, don’t be afraid to ask questions during the game. “If there is a pass interference call, and you really are curious, ask why that was called,” Miller says. Guys love explaining sports rules, so an interested audience is like a bangin’ queso dip: irresistible.
Are you in charge of the invite list? If your duty is to make sure that your Super Bowl party is the talk of the town, you have to make sure that you have the right crowd. Invite funny people, not boring people. Invite a variety of your friends, not just the same crowd that you are used to. The Super Bowl is not just a game, but also a reason to bring people together. And make sure your guests are all rooting for different teams to keep things interesting.
Instead of asking “Where is the game this year?” Proudly state how crazy the traffic must be in New York tonight. Why root for the underdog? Root for the favorite, not for the underdog. Do you want to be like everyone else?
Don’t gossip about that annoying girl’s Instagram, make a Super Bowl betting pool boxes and bet against your friends! This is a really fun activity that will either result in you losing your money or winning all of your friends money. Why not have something to potentially look forward to as the night goes on?
Here are our absolute DON’Ts as told by Gina Miller:
DON’T drink too much! – “Seriously, I have been to work MANY Monday mornings after Super Bowl parties and seen colleagues a little, let’s say, soggy headed”
DON’T walk in front of the TV! – “People are watching the game AND the commercials. Don’t be that person who thinks blocking the TV is funny. It’s not.”
Whatever you do this year, make sure that you aren’t alone, because that’s extremely depressing!