E.T. Phone Rome: Pope Okays Alien Baptisms

Thank You Based Pope Francis

You should all know Pope Francis is pretty kick-ass by now. He takes selfies with normal people and hangs out with the homeless. Last year, Time chose Pope Francis as their person of the year, giving him the cover spot while also giving a bunch of militant Catholics reasons to complain about the nomination. He also accomplished a bunch of other feats that impressed the Internet and LGBT community, earning himself a spot on countless publication lists, and tying him to one of the coolest things of 2013.

He’s also a novelty at times, and today comes another headline that makes Pope Francis even cooler/stranger. Reports have flooded the net saying that Pope Francis is totally welcome to the idea of baptizing alien lifeforms. “Who are we to close doors,” he says, which sounded kind of reminiscent of what was said about the gay community wanting acceptance in religion.

Pope Francis said Catholicism is a church of “open doors,” and whomever wants to accept the Holy Spirit absolutely can, no matter how “unthinkable” and “unimaginable” they may be. He then quoted the Bible, continued on speaking about unthinkable beings, then dropped the bomb on everyone:

If, for example, tomorrow an expedition of Martians came to us here and one said ‘I want to be baptized!’, what would happen? Martians, right? Green, with long noses and big ears, like in children’s drawings.

Damn son. If Martians came to Earth, I don’t believe one of the first things asked would be “Can you baptize me?” But that’s what makes Pope Francis cool— the fact he can say whatever he wants, have it come off as open-minded and accepting, while still holding Catholic-ideals, and drop the Internet a nice quotable. Plus, who doesn’t want Catholic aliens?

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