Django: Off The Chain, Dolls Off the Market

django unchained action figures pulled off shelves

The “Django: Unchained” action figures have been discontinued because Soul Brother No. 2 Al Sharpton and other prominent blacks find them disturbing. They made a stink and your man Harvey Weinstein got shook, so he had the figures pulled. This saddens me. It saddens me because I’m a grown man who loves action figures. It also saddens me because I think there are other things that black leaders should be pissed about.

Black leaders should be pissed about the educational system. They should get so mad and so angry and get the people who cut the checks to get really scared so that all of a sudden, public schools somehow become wonderful! They should team up with angry white leaders to achieve this. Then, they should teach the history of slavery in this country to the shortys, utilizing the Django dolls to illustrate how it all went down. Kids don’t play with action figures anymore and that makes me sad. They fantasize by killing people in video games, instead of killing action figure people in their basements or backyards.

I remember when Al Sharpton used to rock the fly Sergio Tacchini track suits. I miss THAT Al Sharpton. He was several pounds heavier and more intimidating to boot. I think Al Missed the boat with these action figures. He should produce a movie about white slave traders and make action figures based on the characters. He should make Jewish action figures and he should make lots of money with those figures, only to eventually have them pulled from the shelves of hip record stores everywhere. I miss the REAL YOU, Al Sharpton. I love it when you get pissed about the big things that we blacks are concerned about and if you think that action figures from a movie are a major issue for blacks in America then YOU, respected elder with damn good hair, have issues.

The old Al Sharpton kicked it with Michael Jackson and Soul Brother Number One. Peace to that man.

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  • Kelley Frank

    Omg I love you Sacha!

  • bboycult

    I am still reading the comic book ( ahem…I mean kids can still read the comic book) and I am copping whatever blu-ray has the collectors packaging and most special features. Black Illuminati be damned. You can’t stop my geek-go!

  • This is so fucking stupid, if Quentin Tarantino was black this would have been a non issue. Fuck off and worry about something worthwhile. Great article though except for the fact that ol Ale never really gave a shit about anything but $ and fame

  • Snizzap

    I heard Sharpton is leading a rally to protest the rape of Manti Teo’o’s girlfriend by six white guys.