We were just scrolling through Instagram and noticed a slew of posts showing Lil Wayne dumping a bucket of what appears to be the tears of Drake’s fans— on Drake. Further review confirms our assumption was correct, which makes sense given the fact that this took place during the Drake Vs Lil Wayne tour— the only place someone could fill an entire bucket with Drake’s fans’ tears.
Drake and Lil Wayne’s feat marks an unprecedented moment in the recent Ice Bucket Challenge craze taking over Facebook feeds and Twitter timelines. For those of you that aren’t familiar with the challenge: how do you not know about this?
Here’s a breakdown of how it works:
A person gets nominated to dump a bucket of ice on their head… to raise awareness about Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), of course. If said person does not dump a bucket of ice on their head, they have to donate $100 to The ALS Association. If said person does dump a bucket of ice on their head, they nominate three other people to take the challenge. It’s sort of like a Ponzi scheme, but instead of trying to convince everyone they’ll make money, you just say, “Hey, dump this ice on your head or give these people $100, because everyone is doing it.”
Some of you may be confused as to why people need to dump ice on their head to raise awareness about donating to such a good cause. Well, it’s because people who dump buckets of ice on their head don’t usually donate to good causes. In fact, they rarely even think about good causes. They’re busy planning their next ice bucket dump. However, it appears this demographic is generous when ice buckets are involved, as The ALS Association announced today that they have received $1.35 million in donations since July 29, compared to $22,000 during the period in 2013.
Now that Drake has changed the game by using his fans’ tears, who knows how far this craze will go? By the way, Drake nominated Beyoncé to take the challenge, which is fucking hilarious because it sets the stage for a “What you talkin’ bout Jay? I had Bey get it wet on stage” bar at some point in Drake’s career.
Mass Appeal would like to join in the cause by nominating Russia, the homie from the bodega, and the guy that owes us five bucks to take the Ice Bucket Challenge.
This post is completely satirical. If you mad, you should donate. 100.